I want to share my pregnancy journey – it may be boring to some but I have my reasons. No one shares their troubles, everyone else makes it seem like their pregnancy is smooth sailing – ok not everyone, but most people do. But behind the scenes there can be so much going on. I want women to know that it is ok, and that majority of us throughout pregnancy have bumps along the way. After all isn’t the whole point of the pregnancy to prepare us for life with a child? A child who will forever keep us on our toes…
As you get older time passes so quick, but a whole 9 months of pregnancy can be the slowest thing in the world – especially depending on how soon you find out you are pregnant. When it came to us finding out it was due to me being late for my period, however the previous two months I had also been a few days late so thought nothing of it this time round as well. However after talking to both my Mum and my sister – saying I was late, I felt bloated and could not stop weeing – I decided by the end of that week if my period had not come I would take the test. Well Friday came (5 days late) and I was getting ready for work, I decided ‘what the hell’. So I peed on that little stick (side note: have you seen that meme about the peeing on a pregnancy test kit and that they’ve designed a curved handle so you don’t get pee on you? But the meme is saying if you can’t stand a bit of wee on your hand then you aren’t ready for a baby, lol – so true!). I couldn’t bare to sit waiting for the few minutes to see if we were pregnant or not, I was sure we were not, so I turned the stick over so I couldn’t watch it. After 5 minutes I decided to look, internally telling myself it was ok if we weren’t – but to my shock we were! I could not wipe the smile off my face, and flung open our en suite door to wake my husband up as tears streamed down my face. His response “Are you sure? Do another one.” Best. Response. Ever. LOL.
As every single woman I am sure does, I checked against my period tracker in my phone and it suggested I was about 5 weeks pregnant. Fast forward 2 weeks and we went to the Obstetrician to get the ball rolling and sort out having a dating scan, bloods etc. As we thought we were about 7 weeks the Obstetrician suggested that we get the dating scan ASAP to confirm dates – as we were wondering if I could possibly be further along due to having an unusual period prior to falling pregnant. In week 8 we went to have the scan, both my husband and I full of excitement to see our little bean…
… well it was a scan that shook our world. As the sonographer moved the ultrasound machine over my tummy she struggled to see anything. I then was asked if she could do an internal exam instead – we agreed. When she did this she got a clearer image but from what she could see if was simply just a yolk sack and had me measuring about 5 weeks. The sonographer explained that all she could see was the sack, so we either had our dates wrong or it was a missed miscarriage – I crumbled. It was such a sickening feeling to think that we had conceived but it had failed to form and that I would have to go through some sort of procedure to remove it from my body. However the sonographer was so wonderful, she said for us to take all the time we needed (instead of kicking us straight back out of the room), and that it could just be our dates being wrong and to not fret yet. My obstetrician also called me the following day to check-in with me and comfort me – our obstetrician was honestly the best, she knows her patients right from the get go and knew I would be upset, struggling and fretting over the unknown. The next two weeks were the absolute hardest, as we had to wait to then have another scan to check. My blood tests had all come back as good, and my hCG levels were good but not overly high. By the time the second scan came around I had convinced myself that I had just mucked up my dates – and this was true. It was such a wave of relief to see our little bean inside – safe and a heart beat. I honestly could not imagine the pain others have gone through at the lose of a baby, the mere thought of this possibility had me broken. So to all you ladies who have suffered, you are amazingly strong and I take my hat off to you, for being able to grow from it and keep on battling to get your precious bundle of joy.
After this, our pregnancy was relatively smooth sailing. I was diagnosed as having a hypoactive thyroid but in the second trimester it had come back up so no longer required medication for it. By the third trimester though we hit our rough spot – I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes (GD). Even before the test I thought I would have it, I hoped I wouldn’t but I did. I again felt like a failure for my child growing inside me. How could I be so reckless? I know it isn’t about being reckless, but it was how I felt and I was so disappointed in myself. It also meant that if I was unable to control it through a change in my diet then I would need to change obstetricians as I would have to deliver at a hospital in town rather than where we lived (due to them not having ICU care). We smashed this though, I had (have) such an amazing, supportive husband who said “we can do it together”. I also had amazing support from my parents who provided me with recipe books – as my Dad is diabetic. I managed my GD through diet, I began with finger prick testing my BGL (blood glucose levels) 4 times a day, by 38 weeks I was only testing twice a day. Because of this as well I actually lost some weight – I had put on around 12kgs since being pregnant and I lost 8kgs as I changed by diet. By the end of the pregnancy I think I had put on only 10kgs, and literally lost it all within the week of giving birth (although my body doesn’t look like it, lol). Due to having GD our little boy was measuring large so I had to have growth scans – I had the last growth scan at 36 weeks and from this I had my Obstetrician call me as the scan showed some abnormal flow to the umbilical cord so I required CTG monitoring. This was really worrying for myself and my husband as it wasn’t something we really understood. This began at 36 weeks and 4 days, I went to the hospital for the CTG monitoring. I ended up being there all day as in the morning baby’s heart rate was classed as taci-cardic (over 160bpm), then in the afternoon I was having regular “tightenings”. Due to this I was sent via ambulance to the hospital in town for monitoring as it was classed as threatened pre-term labour. My husband works in town so this entire time I was keeping him in the loop and he met us at the hospital. I guess for me the trip to the hospital in the ambulance gave me the chance to relax and internalise my thoughts, so when we arrived and I saw my husband I couldn’t help but laugh at his face – he looked utterly terrified! But who can blame him, the whole event was worrying and confusing – was the baby coming? where they going to induce me? was the baby ok? The next day after staying in hospital overnight we were given the ok to go home, and my obstetrician requested I go back to the local hospital the next day for further CTG monitoring. Well the same thing happened again – our baby was definitely keeping us on our toes! When I was sent a second time via ambulance to the town hospital the Obsterticians there did further checks through the ultrasounds and CTG’s and gave me and baby the all clear. We went home and had a whole week of nothing before I went back for another CTG. Again we faced the same issues of a taci-cardic heart rate with baby and me having “tightenings”. Yet this time due to now being 37 weeks and 6 days, my obstetrician said I could go home and see what would happen. Well it was a totally uneventful weekend, I had twinges and we went for a big walk both days but to no avail. Our little boy was quite content worrying us but staying put! Fast forward to early hours Tuesday morning and the fun began – I was 38 weeks and 3 days.
It was a bizarre feeling I woke around 2am, laid there in the dark trying to fall back asleep and my stomach kept twinging and for some reason I thought to myself today is the day. But I put down the twinges to being uncomfortable with how I was laying, so I moved positions and it continued. I then decided it was time to start timing it. After 2 hours of regular contractions I called the hospital, I spoke to the midwife and was told to see how I go. Another 2 hours later, my husband woke up and was like “so what do we do?”. I was finding the contractions stronger but not unbearable but I called the hospital again as I was worried how our little boy was coping – was his heart rate ok or was he being taci-cardic again? This time (different midwife who was simply amazing), said to definitely come in so she could put me on the CTG machine and also check my cervix. The nerves were at an all time high by then, however after the internal exam I was only 1-2cm’s dilated and my cervix was long and posterior. They sent me home as they felt it would be a better space to be in. At 10am my obstetrician called me and asked me to go back to the hospital at 12:30pm and she would meet us there to make a plan. 12:30pm came (we packed all our bags just in case, and ate lunch), they checked my cervix again and I was still only 2cm’s dilated but as my obstetrician was checking she looked up and said “how about we break your waters and see if that speeds things up?” OMG, it is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world and I remember just thinking break god damn it break. My poor husband basically had no hand left after I squeezed it! The obstetrician said to tell her if I wanted her to stop, but I wanted my waters broken and I knew I needed to persevere – after all child birth was going to be worse, right? Finally she broke the waters -weirdest sensation in the world! My obstetrician had to return to the Doctor’s Surgery but told the midwife that if nothing was happening by 3:30pm to place me on a syntocin drip but to start it off at the minimum of 6mg’s. 3:30pm came and I was contracting but nothing was happening, so the drip began. After 1 hour it was increased to 12mg’s – and WOW. My uterus began to contract like crazy and I was not getting a break between contractions – it was bearable but so painful too. Then our little boy’s heart rate decelerated to about 90bpm. So the midwife stopped the syntocin – and my obstetrician was back by this time (5pm). So after 15 hours of labouring she checked my cervix again and I was still only 2cm’s. From the whole process from 36 weeks my obstetrician said “I think we need to get this baby out, for your sake and his – are you ok that we do a cesarean?” Yes, yes, yes – get this baby out! I had basically come to terms early on (about 34 weeks I said to my husband “I think I will have a cesarean, I just don’t think I will labour properly”), that this was going to happen. My uterus was still going crazy with contractions as they prepared me for the theatre – I signed about 4 documents and had all the risks explained but I honestly don’t remember any of it. By 5:45pm we went in to the theatre – oh my god I kept thinking, this is happening.
Let me tell you, the theatre is quite overwhelming. For me, due to me contracting rapidly with no breaks I was in pain, and baby’s heart rate had gone high (basically taci-cardic again) so it was quite a rush to get me in and get the baby out. Having to sit still whilst the anaesthetist prepares you for a spinal block is petrifying, I also had my husband scared for me. But I was so overwhelmed and terrified as I had the anaesthetist preparing my back, my obstetrician holding the CTG machine against my stomach to keep a check on my contractions and baby, I had my husband holding my hand and I had the anaesthetist nurse placing the oxygen mask on my face. I dared not move the entire time but could feel my body shaking. Once the spinal block was done it was a wave of relief, my husband said you could see in my face I was relaxed and ok – and then he too relaxed. It was about 20 minutes later that our little boy was pulled from my stomach and placed into our arms! There is no feeling like it.
So mumma’s and mumma’s to be… as every other blog article you read out there says – it does not matter how your baby came into the world, vaginal or cesarean you are amazing, you are strong and you have achieved one of the greatest moments in your life, bringing life into this world. Please don’t ever doubt your birth – either way is giving birth, and each way has it’s own sense of being strong.
Growing as a Parent 